The Empire of The Teahouse and Associates is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Manager and Owner Super McTea with an even hand, and renowned for its ban on automobiles, zero percent divorce rate, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, devout population of 3.485 billion Teahouse Regulars are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Teahouse. The average income tax rate is 85.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Associate economy, worth 269 trillion Teacakes a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Basket Weaving, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 77,244 Teacakes, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Kindergartners' favourite dance move is the stop-drop-and-roll, the nation has opened its arms to an influx of refugees, environmentalists are advocating slash-and-burn in the nation's forests, and no-one ever lasts longer than a week on a life support machine. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Teahouse and Associates's national animal is the Ginger Tabby Cat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Beverageanism.

The Teahouse and Associates is ranked 13,543^rd in the world and 587^th in The North Pacific for Most Cultured, scoring 106 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.